Tampa Bay Mom Blog

How to Raise a Responsible Child

Do you want to try and raise a responsible child? Maybe you want them to know that their actions have consequences so that they understand later in life, how to make decisions. Either way, this guide will show you how to raise your child so that they feel like they matter to the world, as well as teaching them how to make positive contributions to the world around them.

Raise your Child to Clean up their Mess

It is so important that you raise your child to clean up their mess. If you can be cheerful and kind about this then you will soon find it easier to give them the support they are looking for. Make it fun to clean up and show them the positive results that come from doing so. When you have kids, it can be hard to not take care of everything yourself. After all, it is faster and easier. That being said, you do need to show your kids that they are responsible for the mess that they make and that it won’t go until they clean it up. If you have a toddler who has spilt some milk, tell them it’s okay that they spilt the milk, but tell them that it has to be cleaned up. If your approach is positive and if you can give them ample encouragement then this will help you out a lot in the future.

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Kids need to Contribute to the Common Good

It’s very easy for your kids to contribute if you allow them to do so. Find ways and comment on them. The behaviors you acknowledge will grow your child as a person. As your kids get older, you can then teach them to contribute more, where appropriate. Kids need to work on two kinds of responsibility. You have self-care and you have family welfare. Research has shown time and time again that kids who help out around the house, tend to offer their help in other situations too. Of course, you cannot expect them to be helpful overnight. You need to build on the opportunities you give your child and you also need to encourage them. If you have a toddler, invite them to put the napkins on the table. A three-year-old can set the table places and a six-year-old can clear the table. Again, remember that you are inviting your child and that you are also empowering them. Take the time to avoid guilting them and don’t overburden them.

No Kid Wants to Do Chores

Don’t make your child do chores without you until they are part of the routine you have as a family. Your goal isn’t about getting the job done, it is about shaping a child who takes great pleasure in taking responsibility. Make the job fun and also give as much structure as possible. Sit with them for the first 30 times if that’s what you have to do. By doing this, you can give them the encouragement and support they are looking for. Communicate when they have done a good job, and also make sure that you tell them when you are happy with their progress. If you can do this then you are bound to see an improvement.


Children like to do It Themselves

Toddlers want to master their physical world. When you support them in doing this, you can encourage them to step into their responsibilities. Work with your child and help them to understand how fun it can be to be responsible, and to get jobs done. Notice that by doing this, you are also bonding, which is what helps to motivate kids to keep on contributing.


Don’t Give Orders

If possible, you need to avoid giving orders. Let your child do the thinking. Don’t shout at your child to brush their teeth and get ready. Keep them focused on the things that they have to do until they are able to internalize it. Eventually, they will be able to manage their own morning tasks, which will save you from nagging while giving them responsibility.

Provide Structure

It’s so important that your child has structure, so you don’t have to worry about them not knowing when things have to be done. If you want to help your child then one thing you can do is focus on how to make your routine as child-friendly as possible. If you have a dog, take them out at the same time every day and make sure that they are fed at the same time each morning. If you don’t have a dog then getting one could help your child to be more responsible. It may be that you look into Lucky Labs if you want a dog that is family-friendly and suited to active homes.

Repair rather than Punish

When your child hurts the feelings of someone else, do not force them to apologize. If you do then they won’t mean it and this won’t help. The best thing you can do in this instance would be for you to listen to their feelings and help them to work it out. Help them to work through their tangled emotions and then ask them what they can do to make things better. It may be that they are ready to apologize, but instead of saying sorry, they want to read a story to them or help them by giving a big hug. Sometimes saying sorry is the right thing to do, but you need to let your child find their own path as well. If they can find their own ways of making a repair when they have caused an issue then this will help them. If your child is refusing to make a repair then this may be because they are resentful, or because they have a chip on their shoulder. This is a bigger healing project than what you might expect, and the best way to work around this would be for you to listen to them and acknowledge the feelings they are going through. If you can do this then you are bound to see a huge improvement.

Model Accountability

Another way for you to help your child would be for you to model accountability. Make them see the choices you are making and what consequences come with that. If there is a parking spot that is disabled only, talk to your child and let them know that you aren’t taking that spot, because it is for those who have physical challenges. Keep your promises to your child and also don’t make excuses. If you don’t follow through when you promise to pick them something up from school, then why should they keep their promises to you? If you end up making a mistake then apologize for it, and make sure that you always make a point of setting an example. If you can do this for your child then you will soon find that it becomes easier to give your child the support that they need to make good decisions themselves.

Of course, if you want to raise a responsible child then these tips should help. Why not see if you can make some positive changes to your child’s outlook today? If you can do this then you will soon find that it is easier for you to raise them as being responsible and you may even find that it gives them the tools that they need to navigate situations in the future, so be mindful of that if you can.

Faithfully Shannan 2022. All rights reserved.

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